Going to NYC tomorrow and filming Who Wants to be a Millionaire on Wednesday!!!!!

Yeah yeah yeah, sucks to be on dialup.  Anyway, we’ll start with this…

Yes, I got a speeding ticket for going 80 in a 70.  With the flow of traffic being roughly 82 MPH. I’m appealing it but I realize I have no chance of getting it overturned…  Unless you folks have some really awesome defense that will work.

In other news, I went to see FoB/TSL for free the other night because I found a black dude who worked there and told me how to sneak in.  And he was hesitant because “Shit nigga [his words, not mine], I’m the only black fool who works here”.  I was drunk enough to put his fears at rest.  So, if you’re counting… concerts I’ve been to drunk: 2.  Concerts I’ve been thrown out of drunk: 1.  Concerts I’ve snuck into while drunk: 1 (2 if you count entering after the cops told me to never come back). And let me tell you, 12 year old chicks dig me (and no, I don’t dig them, but I know someone who does!).  I was trying to hook up a 14 year old with a 13 year old.  It was romantic.  I must’ve been the oldest guy there.    But fuck it, I got in for free.  And every show at the Murat will be free from here until forever.

Anyway, back to Boston tomorrow and I’ll be bored as hell.

It’s funny.  Sometimes I say things to people and my conscience (yes, I have one) goes, “Chris, I think you finally crossed the line.”   But then other people will come up to me later and say, “Chris, when you said that, I was thinking to myself, ‘Finally someone has said that’.”   Which, in the end, makes it all worth it.  Sorry for calling it like I see it.  I might not make friends that way, but it’s better than being a fraud.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/fordrchris/47300.html

Read that first.  Then read this. 

So two nights ago, I was watching Jeopardy! with Darren.  I was doing pretty well and I quipped, “I should be on Jeopardy!”  Darren responded, “Yeah, but Who Wants to be a Millionaire? hasn’t gotten back to you yet, and they said you’d be a good candidate.”

Foreshadowing.

Flash forward to the next day.  I’m at work, in the airplane at 3,500 feet.  I feel my phone ring.  It shows “UNKNOWN” on caller ID, so I figured it was my mom, since our home phone shows up like that.  So I forget that I have a voicemail message until I’m coming home from work.  I check it, and, BAM! “Hi, I’m Diane from Who Wants to be a Millionaire?  Call me back today by 5 PM….. or tomorrow between 9 and 5 or your name will be returned to the contestant pool.”   So I call back, she asks me some questions, and bam! “Congratulations, you’re going to be a contestant on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?”

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?  That’s right, ladies and gentlemen.  I am going to be on the syndicated version with Meredith Viera.  I have to get to New York on November 30th for the taping.  I know when the air date is, but I’m keeping that secret until I find out how I do, because I’d hate to be like the other Purdue girl who got “How do you find the area of a triangle?” wrong.  Fucking idiot.

And no, you can’t be one of my phone-a-friends.  Matt Orlando maybe, but he’s strong in all the same areas as me…  Huy, for sure, no.  Especially since you didn’t answer the phone when I called.

A short synopsis of last night:

A random blonde was eyeing me last night for a long time.  A few minutes later, I was next to her, so I said hi.  She was one of the more attractive girls there (read: still not fuckable)

Me: Hey there
Her: Hi, what’s your name?
Me: I’m Chris, yours?
Her: I’m Melissa
Me: Meh, I won’t remember that.  I’ll call you blonde.
Her: Blonde? Why?
Me: Okay, fine, I’ll call you fake blonde.
Girl walks away.

Wow, someone can’t take a joke.